Digital Nomads. We work online while we’re globetrotting the world. We post about our epic lives just a much as a new mom posts photos of her baby (Ya, a lot).
But we’re super amazing, right? Are we just simply far superior to everyone else?
Wrong. Well, kind of wrong. Some of us suck and some of us are cool. Just like the “other people” who live traditional lives with the house, kids and white picket fence. Some of them are awesome and some suck.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been a digital nomad for over 3 years so I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern.
I see this commonly with the newbie digital nomads but, I’m also noticing the commonality among expats and entrepreneurs too. And this ‘pattern’ I see is increasingly becoming one of my biggest pet peeves.
The Greatest People on Earth
All of the sudden someone has a business or they live in Bali and allll of the sudden they become ‘superior to everyone else’. Let’s dive into some examples. And I kid you not these are all real conversations I’ve had.
If I don’t vent about this in this post, I may actually go insane or throw a drink on the next person who says anything remotely related to the following. (Ha, like that play on words?…)
Exhibit A: “I have a villa with a pool. I’m the kind of Sanur”.
Word for word there. “KING. OF. SANUR.” I kid you not.
In my head…
“Fuck off. Everyone that comes to Bali has a villa with a pool. Having a villa with a pool in Bali is cheaper than renting a basement apartment in Canada. So who is really the cool cat in the scenario? You just found a place where your money goes further. If you can show me your pool villa in California or New York, then maybeee I’ll give you some credit. You’re not the fucking King of Sanur. You have a villa and pool like everyone else except you’re a douchebag."
Now for the others, I’m going to keep this a bit vague for certain reasons but capture the essence nonetheless.
“Oh, I only hang out with this certain type of person.' (essence being that this certain type of person is far superior and makes said person the best ever). It's how they go on about how they're so great because they only hang out certain people who are so much more cool and better than everyone else. They also specifically make mention of the people they don't dare hang out with, because they're "not like them" which apparently makes the other person that they are referring to a shit person... even when they're not.
Now hear me out on this one…. I'm not going to lie, I don’t make an effort to meet tourists and I only dedicate time to getting to know those who are in Bali long term. Not because I’m better than them but because it’s mentally draining to spend all this time getting to know someone who is just going to leave. Saying goodbye so much gets really hard all the time so I just avoid it all together. I'm most driven to connect with like-minded people who are also good human beings.
It's not what you say, but how you say it
The problem with a certain group of these individuals is when they say it, it's in a way that makes them better than everyone else. Not in a, "Oh, I just like to connect with like-minded people way."
I’ve seen this among entrepreneurs and expats. Apparently, there are certain groups of people that are much cooler and far superior to everyone else, and lucky them, they’re a part of that crew.
The crazy thing is, is that people say these things to me completely unprompted. I must walk around with a resting bitch face or something that says, “Validate yourself to me now.”
I’ve connected with some incredible humans this year that many other people would love to connect with and never have these people acted superior to anyone. In fact, that try to help others see the potential in themselves and realize their worth. They’re leaders. Not people trying to validate their self worth.
Then I connect with random dude or newbie entrepreneur that hasn’t achieved much and all they talk about is who they know and how they’re connect and how they’re so great and how they don’t have time for these other people.
Connecting with Like-Minded People vs Being a Douche Bag
Here’s the thing. I get it, I like connecting with like-minded people who are ambitious and driven. BUT I also like connecting with people who have depth. Who are what you call “good people”. They have a good vibe and energy and lift others up. I don’t care if you have 1 billion dollars in the bank, if you hang out with celebrities on the regular and have yacht parties every weekend. If you’re a shitty human, I have no desire to ever make an effort to get to know you.
Here’s what we need to realize...
It’s not about who is better/superior - the entrepreneur, the digital nomad, or the stay at home mom. That’s not what it’s about. It’s about doing you and doing what makes you happy. If a house, kids and a 9-5 job make you happy, truly, then wonderful. You’re living in alignment with what you want and you’re happy and fulfilled. That’s what it’s about.
If you choose to live in Bali because you like the good vibes and sunshine and own a company because that’s what lights you up and fulfills you, great. You’re living in alignment with what you want and you’re happy and fulfilled. That’s what it’s about.
It’s not about who is ‘better’. The digital nomad is no better than the person who lives a traditional lifestyle and the person who lives the traditional lifestyle is no better than the digital nomad. Again, do you and what makes you happy and fulfilled.
We need to start respecting the differences in how people choose to live but even more so we need to learn to focus on what’s most important - and that’s being a good person.
If you’re super awesome, amazing, and superior to everyone else, I don’t care and I don’t want to hear it.
Validate yourself to someone else. I’m declaring this post the removal of the sign I apparently wear asking people to start conversations with me about how awesome they are.
Don’t become a digital nomad, expat or entrepreneur for “cool” status.
Do what makes you happy and fulfilled and bonus points if that involves making other people's lives better while doing it. Whether you do that in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere or Bali - doesn’t matter.
Try your best to be a good human.
We’re not perfect but we can try and be more kind, accepting and open to the fact that everyone is on a journey. Just because someone is not where you are at in life doesn’t mean they’re not trying to or will be one day
For the digital nomads, entrepreneurs and expats that think they’re superior to everyone else… you’re not. You’re actually just annoying and making the rest of us look bad, so please stop.
P.S. I get that not every digital nomad, entrepreneur, and expat is like this. There are a TON of incredible ones out there. This rant is specific to those few douche bags that haven't figured it out yet.
Rant done. Feel free to discuss below :)